Pretty Pathetic

This is a love letter, or a hate letter.

You should have heard me sobbing as I went home that night. Got into bed and stayed there – for days, I just laid there having been permanently changed. But we won’t get into that now. Let’s take it from the start.

You should have seen me smiling like the world was mine. He used to call me baby (softly) sometimes. But if I dwell on those days too long, I feel like my life is over, and that’s no good.

So let’s move on to the part where I begin to sense his distance. I panic and hold on tighter – that makes it worse. How am I supposed to take it when he says: “This is something I’m going through, it’s got nothing to do with you”?

I had a special evening all planned out. Desperately determined to reignite some spark between us. He had to feel something for me – a love as strong as ours. Doesn’t just go away, you can’t just turn it off – unless he was lying all those times. But I don’t think so, I really don’t think so. The way he used to look at me made me a thousand feet high. The meaning of the word “cool”, not the same geek who fumbled through her words that night – the ugliest night.

I said some pretty awkward things. I got the feeling that he felt sorry for me. I should have seen it was hopeless and left it alone. But I had to go on embarrassing myself.

I miss what we had, I need you so badly.

I must have sounded pretty pathetic, I know. That’s why I don’t blame him for what he said. But listen to me rambling. We don’t know each other that well, but you’re so easy to talk to. I feel like I could tell you almost anything. I hope I haven’t put you off – I have a tendency to do that.

Why don’t I just be quiet?

__

DC, I am your soul mate.

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