More Goodbyes. Where are Hellos?

I was excited to see you. On my way home, I thought about you. You were so sad when I left you this morning. And I was so sad I had to leave.

The first thing I checked when I got in was the spot where I left you. I felt relief when I saw a glimpse of the light coming from your lampshade. I looked inside your blanket, but you weren’t there. All that was left was your food, water and vitamins – looks exactly the same as I left you this morning.

Next I checked was my bed. I remember I was so worried last night, before we went to sleep. I couldn’t sleep because I was worried about you – if you’re cold or not. Everything is there, the way I remember everything, except you.

Chikiblue. Why did you have to leave me? 😦

*It is the last day of our first of the who-knows-how-long training. It was so sad because from 21, only 18 are moving on. From Product training, 1 was not able to pass, and 1 was terminated because of background check results. Not to mention, we had to leave our trainer behind, crying. It was the most depressing sight.

*Two of my households are going to enter the convent this June. Time is running out. Tick-tock-tick-tock.

*I know I will be part of a new household until February, and I will be part of a new parish. Goodbye, old people. Hello, new ones. More changes. Great.

*Today is the last day for World Single’s Congress registration, and I wasn’t able to register. Payday is on 30. So I can say goodbye to that, too. Apparently, deadline for payments was extended.

*I wasn’t able to meet my favorite ex’s mother. We were supposed to have a date earlier today.

*Shift is from 2pm-10pm. I get home by 12:30am. I was not able to attend the first 2 dawn mass because I was so sleepy, and had to study for the exams. Goodbye, 9 mornings. Goodbye, Christmas wish.

*My used-to-be bestfriend’s dad died almost three weeks ago. My ex-youth’s dad died two weeks ago. Another ex-youth’s dad died two weeks ago – and her mom died last May. Wow just keeps getting better and better.

I hope there are no more goodbyes after this. I hope we stay together until we survive everything. I hope these are the last goodbyes I ever have to go through before the year ends.

This is just so depressing. It was told in my horoscope that it’s going to be a lucky year for me. Now I know better than to believe in stupid horoscopes. This is like the most depressing year.

1. love

2. work

3. youth

4. Ate Ann and Ate Raine

5. Pasayan family

6. deaths

7. pet Chikiblue

8. household / unit / household

9. Ann, Mel, Al, Fjel, Windy, Leah

9 goodbyes. Top that.


4 thoughts on “More Goodbyes. Where are Hellos?

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