Depressing.

This post is dedicated entirely to my rants.

I have been depressed since, well, yesterday.

I cannot pinpoint the reason why, but I cannot deny the fact that most of my teammates feel the same way, too. I know they do.

I don’t want to be here in the first place. Friends know how I feel towards these BPO companies (no offense meant, just a personal opinion). However I now find myself working in one, so now I know how they must feel. And yes, this is the first time that I mentioned something about my current work in here because I don’t want my friends to know (now yo kno – Manny). — ???

And I’m not liking a bit of it. I don’t know the date anymore, time flies so fast, I don’t get to spend time with family – I go home from work, sleep all day, wake up, get ready for work then go – I have to pretend most of the time (hey ma’am/sir you know what? I need this job so bad so amma kiss your ass just so you would give me good feedback just to stay in this job), I re-learned how to curse (which is in my things-of-what-not-to-do this year), I find green jokes funny, makes me act like crazy, I smell like ulam every time I get out of the pantry – which brings me closer to having food poison each day – I don’t get to pray as often as I want to anymore, I miss appointments, I sleep all day, I can’t do anything else aside from going to and from work – how productive is that?

Except for the fact that I have new friends – new family, in fact – that I get to see current-source-of-happiness, I have the privilege of earning more and the feeling of happiness after helping another resolve of his/her issue (which zaps the energy out of me), I don’t know what else is there. I can’t even understand why people are staying there.

I don’t know anymore. I feel like a quitter.

(San Miguel, please do me favors and process my application papers already. Thank you.)

On other news, two complete strangers smiled at me today. I don’t know if I have that confused sign on my face, and they smiled at me just to make me feel better, but yeah, I felt better after that. Maybe God sent me angels – strangers, good-looking angels.

 

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