I am having a battle in my head. I can’t really decide what I feel right now, or what my mood is today. All I know is that I need to write something to sort things out.
I know it’s stupid, feeling this way. But.
Why I hate this day:
1. I am single. This is not even a reason. I usually enjoy being single. But meh. How can you get away when you are bombarded with fake illusions and commercialism and photos that says: You’re a loser if you’re single. All my friends look especially happy with their lovees on this day (or at least they are doing a really good job pretending there’s more to it than being in a relationship). See:
I have so much romantic ideas and words in me. When will I ever get the chance to show somebody how awesomely creative I can be with this love game? I am itching to write sappy love letters already!
2. It’s a pressure to look for a date. Preferably witty and smart and street smart and loves music and plays an instrument and loves writing and reading and has a car and has savings and has a stable job and is good-looking and is.. (which is exactly the reason why I don’t have one yet).
4. Stressful. It entails a lot of time wasted on planning ahead, reserving a place, fighting over gifts at a local antique shop, gift ideas, etc. It bullies men to do stupid things for their girls to impress them, and vice versa. Most of all, THE SURPRISE. I mean, just imagine what the guys have to go through. And there will always be those STANDARDS. And EXPECTATIONS. And DISAPPOINTMENTS. Such big words. I cannot even look at Facebook without seeing how the girls are being competitive about how they’re going to spend their V-day with their chummies. Wait till it gets to November and you physically feel the stress of that crying baby.
5. If number 2 fails, then you will be brought back to number 1. There is almost always a scheduled loneliness on that day. How can the world be so insensitive and cruel to me? What about my feelings? I am reminded of that She and Him song:
I’m all out of luck but what else could I be?
I know he’s yours and he’ll never belong to me again.
So I’ll keep my head down
If you keep it quiet from now on
In the halls I’d rather hear silence
Than the bells of new love
I did him wrong; SO DON’T BRAG, KEEP IT TO YOURSELVES.~
Which got me thinking, I liked Valentine’s when I had one. Just that, I always ended up broke.
So love it or hate it. You can even pretend you don’t care (but ironically, why are you the one with that FB status about it?) It will still and always be about Valentine’s.