~And in this moment, I am happy.~
By now, I have spent a quarter, maybe less, of my life in this world. Much of it, I spent going to school. Still a large chunk of it was spent on sleeping, singing and eating. No regrets, though, because I spent my twenty-five years on loving.
I have been through sort of down time this year. I have faced tough challenges together with my family. Being the eldest, my mom – my best friend – talks about some of her worries about money and my siblings. I feel I am responsible to hold our family together and act tough, but I failed at that. I am also torn about my future. Last year, I have decided to leave, in search for “greener pastures”. Obviously, that did not take place this year. I am in dire need of additional income-generating activities to support my family, yet I am stuck with being noble and nationalistic. I easily lose interest in my job. I worry about my love life, too, among all the other things that I worry about. Needless to say, I am a lost creature.
I started putting my act together. I downloaded applications that would help me improve myself. I have sleep cycle app to improve my, well, sleep cycle. I also have different sorts of organizers, calendars, journals, etc. I read blogs and books about happiness. I learned that waking up early and doing your bed first thing in the morning boosts your happiness level. I also think of great things that happened each day and list down my goals for the day. I smile a lot. I socialize a lot, I listen to music a lot. I developed a routine. I update my blog as outlet of my creativity and emotions. I sleep with a comforter and instantly feel good. I decorated my cork boards at work. I organized my things. I get things done. I bought things for myself. I take time to do my night ritual. I pray. I appreciate color orange and yellow because they symbolize the sun, and sun is the symbol for happiness. I would like to think that I have developed a positive outlook in life. All these are efforts to becoming happier.
My journey to finding happiness led me to discovering new keys to being happy. For one, I realized that a smile makes a huge difference, no matter how depressed or stressed you are. Not to mention, it feels good to see someone smile back at you. It is laughter that gets me through the day. It is not a secret that I have been struggling with my relationship with my sister. Ours is a love-hate relationship. I hate her for doing things that she keep doing. Yet I cannot stay mad at her. I realized it is better to forgive, even someone who is not really asking for your forgiveness. Somehow, it gives me happiness and peace. I think I am now an expert at forgiving, and asking for it, even when I know I have done nothing wrong. It is far from easy (I should know!), but I hope everyone would realize that it gives you peace. And happiness. And is the greatest manifestation of love.
Being thankful is one of the characteristics I have developed this year. I am thankful for a lot of things that happened this year, and for a lot of people who helped me get through it. I would like to save my list for my year-end blog. In general, I am thankful for my family, my community, my work, my friends and a person who makes me happy. My community allowed me to utilize the many talents that has been given to me. I was given the chance to sing during World Single’s Congress, and again during the Committed Servants’ Weekend. I was able to write for the publication of CFC-Foundations for Family and Life (CFC-FFL) which is the Sound the Trumpets, again on another magazine and a website. This year, I officially became part of FLIQ MEDIA, the media arm of CFC-FFL. I am also claiming to be a mission volunteer and handle the writing arm for SFL (Singles for Family and Life). It is also this year that I am exposed again to the world of production, and will put my OC characteristics to the test during the WSC 2013, being part of the production team. I’ve had the chance of serving my co-singles as team head of our Christian Life Seminar for 10 consecutive Saturdays (it was not easy, take it from me!). What an experience!
I had the chance to visit Bohol with my family and experience wake boarding at Nuvali for the first time with them. These are travel adventures that I will never forget. I also visited Baler with my college friends and learned how to surf like a pro (photos on links). We will be celebrating Christmas again at Tagaytay. What more can I ask for?
Just last month, I met J – a person who truly makes me happy. I promise to write about him, if he sticks around long enough.♥
Goals for 2013
By 2013, supposing the world does not end on December 2012, I promise to become a better person. I will be prettier, sexy-er (a hard goal to achieve), happier, richer (another tall order!), better. This entails new or additional job, shopping and pampering, exercise, discipline, time management, lots of reading (the Bible, most especially), and improvement.
Who knows? Future lover might just be just around the corner. 🙂
written on 4 December 2012. Signed, birthday girl.