“Importante that I’m worth a lot. Kasi it’s a nice feeling. It’s something na dapat ma-grasp ng lahat ng babae. ‘Yun dapat ang hanapin nila in someone who they want to end up with. You can set your standards high and trust that God will give you that standard.”
I never thought something personal would come out of an interview from Maricar Reyes, of all people. But it hit home. Since then, I have been waiting for the right man to come along. But I guess he got lost.
I swore to myself that I want the next man to be “THE ONE”. I don’t think I could endure another heartache. Besides, nobody is getting younger. Everyone kept pushing for me to settle down. Everybody thinks I am ready. So I got to work.
Following after Maricar’s statement, I wrote down a bunch of characteristics that I want my man to have. It makes sense to pray for somebody specific. I trust God enough to know that He would give me that someone down to the last requirement that I have set for myself, may it be as simple or as specific as asking for someone who “presses the tooth paste tube from the bottom, not from the middle.” I divided the list into three: negotiable, non-negotiable and NOT IN A MILLION YEARS a.k.a deal breakers. So here’s a part of my list:
My considerable list:
- Owns a car.
- Lives within Metro Manila.
- Owns a business.
- Very good-looking (tall and moreno).
- Does not have any vice.
My non-negotiable list:
- Must be Catholic.
- Must be super single: no hook-ups, no crazy ex-girlfriends, no flings, no MUs, no paranoid ex-wife.
- Can sustain conversations/arguments.
- Has goals in life.
- Came from a good family.
- Came from a good school.
- Not jobless.
- We share common values/principles.
- Does drugs.
- With grave hereditary disease.
- Non-believer (because I’d like the role of a girlfriend, not a preacher, thank you very much.)
- Does not get along well with my family/friends.
- Did not pass the standards of my mom/lola/tito/tita/dad/siblings.
- Plays a lot of R&B.
..and a lot more.
Eventually I took a devotion after St. Joseph, Mama Mary’s husband. I am in awe of how great this man is. He obeyed God countless times, respected Mary’s virginity, protected her and her son against people who wanted to kill them, raised Jesus as his own, and raised Him well, if I may add, and a lot more reasons. I thought, “wow, this is the kind of man whom I want to marry.” I’m sure every devoted, Catholic, single girl would agree!
I have been praying for this man for a year now, when suddenly, out of nowhere, I just had this “wait a minute, something is not right, Aha!” moment. It was on Mama Mary’s birthday, 2013. I keep on praying to God to give me a guy like St. Joseph, but am I like Mama Mary myself? Am I obedient to God’s will, does not question His wisdom, humble, simple, gives joy to others, holy, etc.? I thought I was ready for someone like St. Joseph. I have been preparing myself for a year. I am learning how to cook, I clean all the time, I wash my underwear (this is no small feat!), I fold my laundry, I am fixing my career path, I am putting myself out there, I invested in beauty and health care. But I was wrong. I am not ready, and God knows it. I am not yet ready for my Joseph, because I am not yet like Mary.
Today, I pray to God not to give me someone like Joseph. I pray that I may become more like Mary each day.