Sound of Walls Tumbling Down

Today has been rocket of emotions. Finished work last night at almost 10PM. Was supposed to go home early but the boss decided to bombard me with work at 4PM. Net decided to act up so it slowed things down. On top of that, I had major headache/migraine attack (because I’ve been blind aka not wearing glasses for the past month because new glasses are expensive). Snoozed on and off while waiting for document uploads/downloads. I was not able to finish work though as internet won’t cooperate. Thought of just bringing home the laptop and continue at home but then I thought I’d have a hard time bringing it back to this office commuting on a Friday morning, so I did not head my instinct’s advice. It was raining when I left the office and taxi lines went on forever, so I walked a few blocks with a throbbing head and hailed a cab, who wouldn’t drive me all the way to Quezon City from Makati. I begged, he drove.. and gave me a P350 rate plus a lot of excuses. I took photos of his plate number, taxi name and company phone. I dialed the number and gave his plate number. We had a discussion. Told me to call again and say to the operator that we’ve already worked things out. I pretended to talk to somebody. It was a quiet ride after that. Gave him P300. Went straight to bed, my mother still talking about shoes and phone calls and locked doors.

Woke up this morning to the feel of warm blanket on my skin on a cold morning and the sound of heavy rain, like it wasn’t supposed to be there. Checked my clock to see if I’m late. I am. Got up, saw text messages from my boss – first saying I don’t need to go to work, followed by texts asking if I was able to finish sending documents last night. Of course I hadn’t. Hierarchy of priorities, I ignored the first text about not having to go to work and went to the bathroom to wash. Dang, I should’ve followed my instincts. Going to work was a disaster. Our street was flooded, I swear I just stared at the raging waters for a whole minute. My dad heard me open the gates when I left and shouted from the door, “Where are you going?” I promised I’ll be back as soon as, I just needed to get my work laptop because the files that I need were there. I walked through the flooded streets. Water went in the tricycle, I had to put my feet up. No FX (or a lot of cars) were to be seen along Mindanao Avenue. I had to wait in line longer than usual, until, finally, thank heavens, a van came by. The barker lady shouted, “Sakay na! 18 ang kasya diyan! Yan na lang ang makakalusong sa baha ngayon!”. I did not wait for a second longer – I got in. No long MRT lines, which is by far the best thing since last night. I was able to sit. My best friend called my cell, we talked til I got to the office. After streak of bad luck, I thought I was having good luck already. Internet was fast.. what took me hours to upload/send only took a few minutes. I was able to finish work in no time. Before lunch, I was able to send everything to my boss and was even able to eat oatmeal with brewed coffee.

Until my boss sent back a 4-page document saying she sent the wrong document to me. By lunchtime, our internet was down..and I am working in a freakin’ hotel. Tried and tried to send back the document but to no avail. Called the Business Center to fix the internet, but said it will take a while due to the storm. A tear betrayed me by falling down my cheeks out of frustration.. I did not just weather the storm only to end up having pending document that needed to be sent to NZ. So I decided to just go home and try my luck with our home internet. MRT wasn’t a hassle, was able to sit. Stood in front of strong winds for a few minutes, stared at car-less EDSA, until finally a cab drove by and I got in. Was able to go home safe in less than an hour. Ate lunch, then not long after, dinner with family.

To kill time, I decided to watch a movie online – If I Stay. It’s from a book by Gayle Forman. I already saw it with my other best friend on the big screen. I cried the whole time. Tonight was no different – I still cried a whole lot. Here are a few of my favorite lines from the movie:

“Love, it never dies. It never goes away, it never fades, so long as you hang on to it. Love can make you immortal”

“I know that all the magic kisses in the world probably couldn’t have helped him today. But I would do anything to have been able to give him one.”

“If you stay, I’ll do whatever you want. I’ll quit the band; go with you to New York. But if you need me to go away, I’ll do that too. .. And that would suck, but I’ll do it. I can lose you like that, if I don’t lose you today. I’ll let you go. If you stay.”

“Mia, Mia, Mia. This is the you I like, you definitely dressed sexier and are, you know, blond, and that’s different. But the you who you are tonight is the same you I was in love with yesterday, the you I’ll be in love with tomorrow. I love that fragile and tough, quiet and kick-ass. Hell, you’re one of the punkest girls I know, no matter who you listen to or what you wear.”

“Sometimes you make choices in life and sometimes choices make you.”

“But I’d understand if you chose love, Adam love, over music love. Either way you win. And either way you lose. What can I tell you? Love’s a bitch.”

“All I can think about is how fucked up it would be for your life to end here, now. I mean I know that your life if fucked up no matter what now, forever. And I’m not dumb enough to think that I can undo that, that anyone can. But I can’t wrap my mind around the notion of you not getting old, having kids, going to Juilliard, getting to play that cello in front of a huge audience, so that they can get the chills the way I do every time I see you pick up your bow, every time I see you smile at me.”

“You can’t just disappear from my life like that and pop right back into it whenever you feel like it.”

“Being with Adam is like learning to fly: it was exciting and scary, all at the same time.”

“Think of it like we’re playing music together.
Alright. So. You have four strings – you have a C string, a G, D, and A. If I were to play crescendo, it’d feel like this. And if I were to play diminuendo, it’d feel like this. And if I were to play forte-
-I know forte..” — Best. Love. Scene. EVER. With this song in the background:

Perfect rainy-night-after-If-I-Stay song. Perfect way to end a day full of different emotions. Just perfect.

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